Dairy of my former self II

In this performance/documentation work, I have continued to explore the idea of revealing the emotions we enclose, and the lack of ability we breach to display and convey our emotions rather we live in state of containment.

In a society where there is a defined and exploited perception of how one should act physically and mentally and if they confide this suffocating suppression they are viewed different, and may lack ability to physically connect socially and mentally.

I get caught up on this idea of what other people are feeling or thinking, how often do we actually tell people our emotions and physical strains, or our experiences, experiences which have lost authority to tell as the value of an experience has been exploited.

When do we have an experience that was so intriguing or significant in just an encounter?  But we lack the words to convey how an experience defines your emotions at that point, because the reality is no-body cares. Everyone is always seeking for a more superior encounter to tell as the day-to-day life experiences have fallen in value and really do they have significance worth telling.  There we also have a pulsing effect on how we connect and portray our selves through a computer interface, where we have an instant ability to mask layers between perception and reality in our experiences, to make ourselves appear as socially significant.

The idea I am trying to explore is not specifically about experience, more defiant on the idea of emotions and how we lack the ability to convey how we feel, or lack poise to express our thoughts or dispositions. I questioned myself hypothetically if our emotions appeared on our skin, how would society change or view upon all these mental vulnerabilities or optimistic attitudes and buoyancies of life, exposed to reality. Would it become apparent that we are much the same, we all struggle with fear and indecision of what right and wrong, would we embrace difference in social expectations? Would we know how to rightfully conjure our own emotions that align with the way we express our selves and our representations? 

I have continued to explore the retelling of my honest, unique and intimate subject matter from personal experience, creating intimacy and vulnerability within the encounter of the space confined between the viewer and myself as the artist.  The associable encounter created through the act of which my body is positioned away from the viewer portraying a sensibility to shame and acute sense of self-awareness.  The prominent and gruelling backbone of my body makes the words appear more confronting and aligned with the bodily remarks.  The exploited body illustrates receptivity to the isolation of the mind, remarked in the agitation and pain of these suffocating raw emotions.

Illustrated within one of the images is the attempt to diminish and rub away the exposure of the word convicted on the skin being a detriment to the mind.  There is a tormenting dialogue between the neurotic and anxious attempt wipe these emotions away, which define the contours of my prominent ribs and body,  which expose the conspiring act of the fragmental mind.