Tuesday, 6 August 2013



As a reflection from the talk week this year, I had very informative and positive feedback which has precipitated my practice with ongoing and various tangents and ideas to follow through in developing and devolving myself in the ideas of identity and personal embodiment. As a reflection throughout another postgraduate students critique, we discussed the problematic phrase of writing or words in art as a confusing and interference with the art itself. Something which I would like to understand thoroughly and question why it is essentially problematic.
Although we discussed that writing can be problematic, two of the Artists involved in the critique both suggested to take this liberation to the opposite extreme by exploring the relentless possibilities and encounter of the work by exaggerating the diaristic mentality into a physical stream of diaristic words. One that would encounter, spacial facades, installation, time, embodiment, severalty, and conceptual mark making. All of which are conformed in this continuous stream of mark making and diaristic assertion of which we acutely assume is truthfully and accurately displaying the conceptual representation of the artists identity.
The encounter of the work is played in a push/pull negotiation as the viewer is pushed away from the work to encounter the over all play and ambiguity of the size and spacial relations which loose detail to the diaristic writing becoming unreadable. The encounter therefor emphasises the exaggeration of the diaristic form rather than the content which is only played into the viewers conceptual encounter when pulled closely to the work to which segments of the diarist writing are read, rather than the labour some acquired effort to read the whole script which becomes dislodging to the mentality of the desired encounter with the work. The viewer can become equally aware to the conceptual ideas within the diaristic writing by obtaining the key words in a small segment such as identity, mental, disorder, which frame ideas much more abstract than the work itself does.
The work which I also experimented with rotating the work to the opposite side to play with the frustration of words that appear unreadable. This is evident in one of the images above which I have left a partial and controlled segment of the work rolled back, which evidently only exposes that section of script for the viewer to interpret, and leaving the rest of the script visually evident but dislodging and frustratingly unreadable. This may work more superior to the work telling the viewer everything when displayed directly to the front, as the viewer can form their own perspective and idea of there position in the work appearing far more connected than displayed directly to the viewer. This exists because a space is narrated sitting between what is told in this diaristic script and the viewers response and encounter, which appears disconnected.

Friday, 5 July 2013

Behind the masks we wear



We all suffer shame and disgust. It is an affect that forces us to confront our own bodily existence.1 The exhibition ‘Behind The Masks We Wear’ is critiquing mainstream social and cultural aesthetics of shame and disgust, which undermine our desired self-conception.  Artists Tracey Emin, Jenny Saville, Andrew Salgado, Jo Spence and I create an intimate engagement with the viewer imposing our personal bodily existence in the work, rejecting culturally imposed notions of shame attached to our body and identity. 

The exhibition, held in ARTSPACE Dubai, a contemporary Middle Eastern gallery, which constructs a socio-political dialogue between the Western cultural arts exhibited in this site. This conversation surrounds the theme of identity, and the aesthetics of shame and disgust, which is immersed in a different cultural structure. Differences between the customary laws and Islamic laws fabricate problems of male-female inequality, imposing ethical implications of disgust towards being a female. This obliterates a females ability to speak or display their identity, which is far more apparent and significant than Western society.
But one would question why you would immerse these exhibiting contemporary Western artists in a Middle Eastern gallery?
The exhibition is controversial as it unmasks and speaks in a candid and frank manner, critiquing the socio-political issues and universal emotions that define our identity and self-conception. The exhibited work not only speaks for Muslim women in Middle Eastern countries, but society as a whole who are suppressed to speak or display oneself in such manner represented in these artworks.
Each artist explores the concept of identity, creating dialogue between the viewers and the artist as the dynamics between self and society explored. The concept of the self is motivated and structured by desire, desire which is a disposition of immersing in pleasure or satisfaction. These artists objectify and make prolific the neglected emotions, which are controversial to desire, consequently why they are denied in self-conception. Both individually and collectively these artists critique the concerns of habitually confined socially constructed emotions of self, by which they immerse themselves with aesthetics of disgust, shame, embarrassment, fear, inequity and isolation embedded within their work. These artists attempt to liberate themselves from confining representations of self by speaking of concerns that society does not speak for.
 
Interrogating and revealing autobiographical details from her life, artist Tracey Emin confronts her audience with shocking, expressive and confessional qualities, which enables her to establish intimacy with the viewer.   Illustrated in Tracey Emins exhibiting work My Bed, where she puts her most personal space on display, contained with all her embarrassing glory. Confronting the viewer with shock of such a personal diminishment reveals that she is as imperfect and insecure as the rest of us.
Emin situates herself open to scrutiny, uncovering the blunt and fearless manner of displaying the truth, which can be excruciating to observe.[1] This evokes repelling and nauseating sensibilities to the shame and embarrassment, which is embodied in the frankness of this work.
The work is notably a multifaceted sculptural installation, condensed with various contained statements. The installation, which is spilling the edges with detritus, vomit stains, used condoms, bottles, dirty clothes and anything that was present in her room, is activated and charged into an artwork.2 Presenting the symbolic qualities to the progression of life, the bed is a place of birth, death, sex, fertility, illness and loss.3

Similarly to Tracey Emin, Jenny Saville examines the aesthetics of disgust, by which she critiques the scrutiny of beauty and pleasure immersed in Western traditions of aesthetics.4 Interrogating assumptions of beauty, Saville depicts the female body spilling the canvas with puckered and folded skin, distorted and foreshortened, obliterating and redefining the symbolic representations of beauty.
The philosophical encounter and power of disgust forces the viewer to confront their own bodily existence, which is contradictory and ambiguous. This encounter of disgust reveals how society has been habituated to the abstract systems that structure our cultural perception.5
Savilles exhibits Plan, a self-portrait as a cosmetic surgery patient. The exaggerated perspective accentuates the pubic area and expanses of thighs and torso, tilting the head into an ambiguity of the bodily remarks.  The face has a profound and haunting sensibility to the silent supplication and helplessness as the complexion of the grey painterly embodiment conjures affective representations to sorrow, disparity, injury and dismay. 6
Interrogation the preconceived representation of traditional nudes, exposes that the female body has been passively displayed provocatively for the pleasure and objectification of the male gaze. Savilles paintings obliterate this objectified gaze; forcing and returning the viewers gaze behind their own mask.7

Immersed in the concept of truth and representation, artist Andrew Salado’s works are highly remarkable because of the prominent raw emotions spilling behind the fields of figurative painting. The sensation of such confronting yet emotional and wounded works activates the viewer to consider the tangibility and impermanence of the body, but also conceptually questions the fragility of one self and identity.  Salgado’s assertive, bold and visually demanding work convenes the notion of masculinity and personal identity into a provocative response to his political experience of hate crime being heterosexual.  Salgado exhibits ‘That wasn’t my weakness’ a self-portrait which he asserts the notion that as individuals we wear masks as disguises to protect ourselves, which he confronts with concepts of sexuality, masculinity and identity.8 Salgado uses his aggressive manner and political structural style of painting as a political tool to communicate and confront the aesthetics of shame and disgust in being heterosexual.9

Jo Spence an iconic feminist and socialist photographer artist, deeply concerned with social and political dilemmas and ambiguities inherent in our everyday lives. Spence immerses her audience into the traumatic emotions, and confronts the fear of shame and embarrassment in disclosing her imperfect and distorted breast. 10Documenting the blunt reality and truth of pain, trauma, illness and death, she invites the audience in her journey and emotions immersed in her illness with cancer, which she contrives that art is healing.11 Jo Spence’s exhibiting work I framed my breast for posterity is attempting to convict her vulnerability, pain and suffering and to engage the viewer in the experience.11 The viewer is forced to attend his or her own embodiment as the artist herself is making meaning of hers. Spence’s famed breast illustrates the divide of her identity before and after cancer. The frame does not literally cut off her breast but isolates her breast and suggests nothing outside the frame appears more important.12

In the following work, as with the previous mentioned artists, I have explored my own embodiment immersed in the fear of shame and disgust. The exhibiting work Diary Of My Former Self explores the way we encapsulate emotions and resides the personal experience of purging and anorexia. The toilet acts as a diary to which the confined emotions where hypothetically flushed away, in fear of decrementing my desirable persona.  The diaristic writing in the toilet reveals the emotions sacred and encapsulated within my mind, and suggests the lack the ability to convey how we feel, or lack poise to express our thoughts or dispositions in fear of shame.
The second exhibiting work hypothetically questions how social and political constructs would change if emotions appeared on our skin, rather than immersed in our mind. Would it become apparent that we are much the same? As humans, we all struggle with fear and indecision of what is right and wrong. Should we embrace difference in social expectations? Would we know how to rightfully conjure our own emotions that align with the way we represent ourselves and experiences? 
The photograph of my body is positioned away from the viewer portraying a sensibility to shame and acute sense of self-awareness. The prominent and gruelling backbone of my body makes the words appear more confronting and aligned with the bodily remarks.  The exploited body illustrates interest in to the isolation of the mind, remarked in the agitation and pain of these suffocating raw emotions. Illustrated within one of the images is the attempt to diminish and rub away the exposed words convicted on the skin being a detriment to the mind.  There is a tormenting dialogue between the neurotic and anxious attempt to wipe these emotions away, which define the contours of my prominent ribs and body, exposing the conspiring act of the fragmental mind.

The exhibition collectively reflects the theme of identity immersed in the artist’s embodiment and autobiographical details revealed imposing through the exhibiting works.  The viewer is confronted with the thematic concerns to consider the aesthetics of disgust and shame, appearing visually evident in Tracey Emin and Jenny Savilles work combined with emotively driven work of Andrew Salgado, Jo Spence and myself. The exhibition subsequently encourages the viewer to consider their own bodily existence and to interrogate ethical implications that confine ones emotions with fear of shame and disgust.
Are we entering a changing society where words do not deem fully capable of capturing the meaning of experiences, rather we rely on visual domains to confront and manifest our physiological emotions?


1 Meagher, Michelle. 2003. “Jenny Saville and a feminist aesthetics of disgust." Hypatia 18, no. 4. 1
[1] Emin, Tracey., Elliott, Patrick., Schnabel, Julian. 2008. Tracey emin: 20 years. Edinburgh: National Galleries of Scotland.

2 Emin, Tracey., Elliott, Patrick., Schnabel, Julian. 2008. Tracey emin: 20 years. Edinburgh: National Galleries of Scotland
3 Merck, Mandy.,  and Townsend, Chris. 2002. The Art of Tracey Emin. London:Thames and Hudson. 10
4 Meagher, Michelle. 2003. “Jenny Saville and a feminist aesthetics of disgust." Hypatia 18, no. 4. 1
5 Meagher, Michelle. 2003. 23-42

6 Shrage, Laurie J., ed. 2009. You've changed: Sex reassignment and personal identity. Oxford University Press, USA. Robinson, Hilary. 2006. Reading art, reading irigaray: The politics of art by women. New York: I.B. Tauris.
7 Poole, Tanya Katherine. 2000. An exploration of female physicality and psyche and how these inform art-making. PhD diss., Rhodes University. 7
8 Simpson, P.2013. “Making sense of sexuality; the paintings of andrew salgado take the art world by storm.” The Ottawa Citizen, May 6. Accessed June 13, 2013.
9 Lederman, M. 2012. ‘THE BREAKOUT / ANDREW SALGADO.’ The Globe and Mail, October 25..
10 Wilson, Siona. 1996. White metonymy: A discussion around Jo Spence and Terry Dennett's colonization. Third Text 10, no. 37: 3-16
11
11 Bell, Susan E. 2012. Living with breast cancer in text and image: making art to make sense. Qualitative Research in Psychology 3, no. 1 (2006): 31-44.Brand, P. Z. Beauty Unlimited. Indiana University Press. 37

12 Bell, Susan E. 2012 37-38





Monday, 24 June 2013

Talk week 2013




Talk week emerged a successful dialogue and critique of effective and engaging conversation immersed surrounding my exhibiting work.
Concerns and conversations arose around the following
-       Had the work being displayed apposing to how they had been installed would have been read differently and may read as the body then effect, consulting the ideas immersed in the work
-       The message is very direct and clear- Confronting and also very brave act of subject matter and personal position.
-       Voice cannot be diluted
-       Conversation surrounding when and when not to use didacticism? (Didacticism is a communication that is suitable for or intended to be instructive)
-       Art can be healing; what the power and potential of art can have on society. Are you trying to send a message to others?
-       Immersed is an incredible amount of labour with the diaristic writing on the back. The use of photograph simplifies the labour and time invested in the making of a single photograph. The photograph creates distance between the real thing; Maybe the installation or performance would encapsulate the labour and ideas more successfully. Or ideas of installing a larger print of room scale scripted with diaristic writing could become more engaging with the extent of labour involved.
-       What conversation would arise if the work were employed in a public toilet cubical, which each toilet has this diaristic script, which reaches out and immerses the public into the significance of this mental disorder. Conjuring emotions into words, which they cannot and confronting emotions they cannot confide with; creating a healing progression to dealing with the isolation of encapsulating these emotions.
-       Working in a public toilet arose the fear of hygiene and personal diminishment in my mind, but that constitutes and illustrates the lack of dignity one suffers with bulimia; the secrecy of purging in public spaces and private spaces. Something which is overlooked when entering a public toilet is the extent and animosity of young women who purge in these public spaces in attempt to confide with social expectation that suffocate their minds.  What happens when a bulimic enters this public space erupted with all these emotions conjured within the mind of someone bulimic; does the work become a message of helping confide their emotions, or a way to confront their fear of acknowledging this disorder.
-       Keep subject matter and opinions together; What does this mean? How is this significant to my work?
-       The significance of social media mediating the severity of this confronting illness, being more common that any other illness in teenagers including suicide.
-       People don’t know how to talk about these issues and tend to ignore or keep sacred within immediate family and medical support. The ability to convey or put into words the emotions that person experiencing the illness of bulimia is rarely confronted rather confined within the mind. Although it is the number one issue society does not express it nor does it address these issues.
-       Conversation surrounding the use of photography kept immersing to which the labour is reduced, while others don’t mind about labour being lost. Labour is like bulimia; the labour which someone suffering this illness puts into obtaining this desired body image, and the results which are often reduced as one may be a normal or overweight rather than anorexia. 
-       Personal catharsis; refers to the purification and purgation of emotions-especially pity and fear- through art
-       Didactic; intended to teach, particularly so as to appear patronizing.
-       The readability of the text is slightly frustrating; the image of the writing appearing on the body seems grainy apposed to the quality of the toilet, which doesn’t. What effect do I want and how is this subsequently read? 
-       Resonates to artists such as Jo Spence, Andrean Piper, Hannah Wilke, Aaron Hayze, Anna Mendieta
-       Issues travel to social; conversational thinking; relieves pain; engages the audience
-       I need to formulate a ritual around work and have a place to derive and deal with artistic issues; Decide constructed art hours, giving myself a break especially when dealing with personal work.
-       More prolific; presenting in larger numbers or qualities, producing many more works exploring this idea. 

When evaluating the conversations surrounding my critique, it was evident that the ideas were clear and visually demanding as the work constructed a deep and evolving conversation which emerged the wider socio-political issues that arise around the conviction of displaying emotions. The critique generated a understanding and awareness of the severity of this mental illness, and the lack of ability to conjure emotions to express or address it the issue as a society. The critique also formulated ideas of how I should become vigilant on how I immerse myself in these personal works, by allowing a clear space too deal with these artistic issues will continue allow the art to be a healing process rather than it conspiring back into the mind. Various artists emerged from the critique which will allow me to explore further possibilities to exploring these ideas and subject matter. 

Wednesday, 12 June 2013

Tracey Emin


Tracey Emin has a profound oeuvre, which is of disclosure, revealing intimate details from her life, questioning society and universal emotions. Integrating her personal life into the work creates an engagement with a deep sensibility and intimacy with the viewer and artist.  This is illustrated in Tracey Emins work “My Bed,” where she shows and dialects her most personal space, contained with all her embarrassing glory. Confronting the viewer with shock of such a personal diminishment, disclosing her imperfect and insecure self as the rest of us. Confronted with the uncovered candid manner of the unbosom truth represented in this work contentiously argues the affective response which is completely powerful and engaging but the cognitive and conceptual response acquires the viewer to feel disturbed and often nauseating installation when conceptualized. The affective response engages the viewer long after the encounter of the work, being mesmerized and alluded to decipher why such a demeaning work has an empowering and intimate engagement with the artist.

The installation, which is spilling the edges with detritus, vomit stains, used condoms, bottles, dirty clothes and anything that was present in the room, is activated and charged into an artwork, presenting the symbolic qualities to the progression of life, a place of birth, death, sex, fertility, illness and loss. A work, which demonetises the condition of a traditional profound artwork, appears absence of any skill and craftsmanship controversial thought and emotion. But in fact when obliterating this simply appearance, the work becomes notably a multifaceted sculptural installation, condensed with various contained statements, which in fact evokes a sensibility to emotion and thought. 



Saturday, 8 June 2013

Dairy of my former self II

In this performance/documentation work, I have continued to explore the idea of revealing the emotions we enclose, and the lack of ability we breach to display and convey our emotions rather we live in state of containment.
In a society where there is a defined and exploited perception of how one should act physically and mentally and if they confide this suffocating suppression they are viewed different, and may lack ability to physically connect socially and mentally.
I get caught up on this idea of what other people are feeling or thinking, how often do we actually tell people our emotions and physical strains, or our experiences, experiences which have lost authority to tell as the value of an experience has been exploited.
When do we have an experience that was so intriguing or significant in just an encounter?  But we lack the words to convey how an experience defines your emotions at that point, because the reality is no-body cares. Everyone is always seeking for a more superior encounter to tell as the day-to-day life experiences have fallen in value and really do they have significance worth telling.  There we also have a pulsing effect on how we connect and portray our selves through a computer interface, where we have an instant ability to mask layers between perception and reality in our experiences, to make ourselves appear as socially significant.
The idea I am trying to explore is not specifically about experience, more defiant on the idea of emotions and how we lack the ability to convey how we feel, or lack poise to express our thoughts or dispositions. I questioned myself hypothetically if our emotions appeared on our skin, how would society change or view upon all these mental vulnerabilities or optimistic attitudes and buoyancies of life, exposed to reality. Would it become apparent that we are much the same, we all struggle with fear and indecision of what right and wrong, would we embrace difference in social expectations? Would we know how to rightfully conjure our own emotions that align with the way we express our selves and our representations? 
I have continued to explore the retelling of my honest, unique and intimate subject matter from personal experience, creating intimacy and vulnerability within the encounter of the space confined between the viewer and myself as the artist.  The associable encounter created through the act of which my body is positioned away from the viewer portraying a sensibility to shame and acute sense of self-awareness.  The prominent and gruelling backbone of my body makes the words appear more confronting and aligned with the bodily remarks.  The exploited body illustrates receptivity to the isolation of the mind, remarked in the agitation and pain of these suffocating raw emotions.

Illustrated within one of the images is the attempt to diminish and rub away the exposure of the word convicted on the skin being a detriment to the mind.  There is a tormenting dialogue between the neurotic and anxious attempt wipe these emotions away, which define the contours of my prominent ribs and body,  which expose the conspiring act of the fragmental mind. 









Wednesday, 5 June 2013

‘Diary of my former self'


In this work I have continued to explore the notion of social media, which precipitately has conducted my recent works to this point. I continue to question myself as an artist within these works. To question whether this has become an outlet to express my emotions and deep intellectual thoughts that would once other wise be confined behind a computer interface or masking layers over reality.
In this work I have revealed intimate details of my life containing confronting raw emotions revealing my insecurity and imperfection as the rest of the world.  This work becomes a personal integration of emotions, which dialects intimacy with the viewer and engages the viewer to consider expressions of universal emotions.
The viewer is the confronted with the artist’s intimate personal experience to social expectations and identity putting myself as the artist in the installation, in a hypothetical tense.
Media and society portrayals of practicing the ideal body and appearance became suffocating and isolated within the mind that it became a constant emotion and desire to reach that state of ideal image.
This cognitive distortion of reaching this state of “society acceptance” became a self-obsession with the uttermost desire to reach that state. The significance of my mental obsession to reach this state of desire resulted in bulimia, which suffocated and confined all my emotions throughout the period of nearly 2 years, stripping away my identity momentarily, while I was so constructed on this mental ‘drug’.
The entitle of the work “Diary of my former self” says as much if not more than the work does itself. The notion of a diary is perceived to be a personal intimate record of ones experiences and emotional reflections. In this installation the toilet acts as a diary to which the raw emotions confided within me where hypothetically flushed away, in fear of decrementing my desirable persona.
A diary we also conceive to be a book format, which encloses information, is portrayed as the toilet, which encloses the raw emotions, confined in my addiction dealing with the constant over exposure of the ideal persona and body image.
The toilet, which is often, a personal confined space, habitually overlooked of any significance, becomes very confronting and overwhelming when encountering the work. The writing contained within the toilet expresses the raw emotions hidden and concealed behind the morphing layers of reality. 
The viewer is confronted with hand written, impromptu script, which no attempt to cover or diminish imperfections, rather embrace and let the imperfections define the work in dialogue to reality. In the attempt to flush these deep raw emotions away to derive or alienate them from your conscious mind, the viewer becomes aware that these emotions still remain fixed in the mind, which is adherent and illustrated in this work.

 “I want you to know how normal you feel, you have become habit of my daily life. I rely on you everyday as a relief from the social expectations that suffocate my identity. You give me relief and help me see that everyone thinks perfection is not within.  But why don’t people understand? Why can’t they be there to listen and help me confide my addiction to you? I don’t want them to tell me I need help, when I cant see you as mental disorder. I don’t know who I am anymore, I cant physically put in to words to tell people what physical and mental strain you put on me because that would be admitting to myself you are ripping my identity away. I feel so isolated and alone, all I want to do is talk but the anonymity of my raw emotions being exposed could make people look at me different, like I am mental, but I am still me. Can’t you see? “






Andrew Salgado


Andrew Salgado works are highly remarkable because of the prominent raw emotions spilling behind the fields of figurative painting. The sensation of such confronting yet emotional wounded works activates the viewer to consider the tangibility and impermanence of the body, but also conceptually questions the fragility of one self and identity.  
Salgado’s assertive, bold and visually demanding work convenes the notion of masculinity and personal identity into a provocative response to social mediation.  
Salgado questions concepts of sexuality, masculinity and identity, which are convened in the acute attention to the representation of the figure. Salgado’s aggressive manner and political structural style of painting provoke an ambiguous viewing experience to arrest and inspire the viewer long after the initial encounter of his works.